First Day Jitters
posted on: 03:30 PM September 04, 2007
Someone once told me that being a mother was like wearing your heart on the outside of your body. The first day of school is this theory put into practice.
We pack them up with all the supplies they need, the right indoor/outdoor shoes, and sparkiling new outfit. We encourage them to tackle this challenge, talk to them about how great their teacher will be, all the friends they’ll meet, the new things they’ll learn and the fun they’ll have. We bravely introduce them to their new teacher and our hearts break as we watch them walk into school clutching their new backpack or lunch box as if it were a lifeline.
In the days leading up to today, our oldest daughter seemed to be the more nervous of the two, but as soon as she saw her friends she bounced away without a care. However, our youngest – who had seemed so brave as early as yesterday – suddenly became overwhelmed by the whole process and dissolved into tears just as her line-up began to move. She didn’t want to go to school and wanted to go home – in that moment, I felt the same way. I wanted to pick her up, run back to our car and take us home. I am an intelligent, rational woman and yet I felt just as vulnerable as she did - Would she make friends? Would there be a bully in her class? Would she like her teacher? Would her teacher like her? I needed as much reassurance as she did that it would all work out.
Of course, I know it will and tonight’s dinner will be filled with happy stories detailing each new adventure. But, until then, my mother’s heart will continue to ache and feel just a little bit more exposed than usual.
